Wednesday, March 19, 2014


So. I haven't posted in a long long time. This blog has been silent through the biggest changes in my life. I wish they had been happier.

Some were happy. I have a baby boy. He's the good thing in my life.

I scanned over the last post, the last few posts, and they feel like they were written by an entirely different person. I don't know that girl. This blog hardly feels like mine anymore.

That great new love I was excited about wasn't so great. He didn't want to work at it. Love that lasts takes work. Raising a child takes work. Looks like I'm the only one that wanted to work.

I don't want this blog to turn into a huge list of bitter rants about my failures, which is why I've been silent. I've also been hurt so badly, I can't even find words for it. I don't know how to get across the depth of pain I feel at my son not having a father, me not having a partner, my failure to have a home for me and my son to ourselves.

This is stupid. Who reads this. Who cares. No one.