Sunday, October 24, 2010
I have never written a blog before. I journal some.
I find myself attempting to write a book. This seems rather silly sometimes, and sometimes, like the most important thing I could ever do. I'm just a twenty-something weird chick living in New Orleans, and going through a spiritual funk. I'm a very spiritual being, and maybe it's not the smartest thing to put all of this out there. Maybe I'm not that smart.
In any case, my dear boyfriend said something about my little project - something that got through my pity-party, whining, and tearful existential angst. He said that my writing down of my own views, my own spirituality, defending/explaining my self in this sense, would be a hard look in the mirror at my essential self. And that it might burn. But it can either leave me needing skin grafts, or cleanse me. Either way, it would be one of the hardest things to do, and likely very painful.
So. That's a cheery thought to go into a project with, yeah?
But damn it if it's not true. I'm not sure if my lovely bed-mate realized the image he evoked in my mind when he uttered the word "mirror." For those of us who are magickally inclined, a mirror isn't just a way to fix your hair in the morning - it's a portal. Often a portal that just brings you back to yourself, but still powerful. "The mirror is the magickal weapon par excellence, equally able to trap the user or that which is summoned within its watery realm." (Martinie & Glassman, p76) So says the description of the card "Magick Mirror" from the New Orleans Voodoo Tarot. The mirror is lunar, watery, dangerous, and a thing of power. Mirrors are used for scrying. Mirrors, like the waters, in Vodou, divide the world of the physical with the world of the invisibles. "Upon the surface of the mirror the worlds meet. The world of the Great Invisibles and the visible material world mirror one another." (Martinie & Glassman, p76-77)
What does this all mean for me? I'm still learning, but I do know that to look into the mirror, I will be looking not only at myself, but into myself, and into the Abyss that most people spend their lives avoiding. I will be walking around that darkened theater that Jung spoke of. I'll probably stub my toes and bark my shins. I'll likely find some ugly things about myself, some pimples and hairs I'd rather not see. But I think I'd rather know the truth about myself, and find ways to be a better me, than to be safe from my darkness.
Light or dark, whatever the mirror has to show me, I'll keep my eyes open. Maybe this blog will help in that endeavor. And I'll remember the contemplation with the card "Magick Mirror" in the Voodoo Tarot book: "Look into the mirror until your image moves while you are still. Here magick begins.