Monday, May 30, 2011

Am I done wandering?





Djehuty & Shu lure Hethert back from the desert
 

Would I really reject a religion that has been a joy to me these past months, based on a divination I didn't agree with? Seems childish. Yet as time passes, I'm so very convinced that Hethert in my mom. It feels like a conviction, and in the face of the caveats to not expect X netjer to even show up in the lineup, I can't shake it.
I left christianity for many reasons, but one of them that stuck with me was my dislike for authoritarian religions. For years, I never even considered letting anyone tell me who to worship, how to pray, what rituals or rites are "correct." I was often disdainful of the thought that anyone knew anything more or better about the Divine than myself. Why should I let anyone get in the way?

I seem to be changing my mind. A little. I still fully believe (and know) that I can have a direct experience with the Divine without any organization or clergy being involved. What I am learning, however, is that organizations don't have to "get in the way." In Kemetic Orthodoxy, I've found a very helpful community.
 While they don't deny the UPG and experiences of anyone, they are always available to add their wisdom, their own experience and teachings, and a structure on which to build more meaningful relationships.


I'm still nervous about my RPD, nervous that I will lose my independent spirit to an orthodoxy (that word seriously gave me the shivers when I first read it connected to my beloved Kemet), but it is waning. I think there will always be that free, rebellious part of me - yet I'm finding that having a framework for practice and belief is helping me at this point, and not hindering me. And that's the most important part, isn't it?

Would I leave if Hethert didn't show up in my lineup? I don't know. I know that it wouldn't stop me from being devoted to Her. It might be something to learn from (but I think every RPD should be a learning experience, if I understand it correctly). I have high hopes for my experience within KO, so I shall have to see what will happen.

I am excited, however.

2 comments:

  1. One way to look at orthodoxy that may help is to think of it as a chain of believers, like yourself, holding hands back through history. Orthodoxy is one of the strongest ties to your spiritual ancestors; a solid foundation of forebears to build your individual beliefs upon.

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  2. Wow. I've been thinking of writing about this very subject.

    First of all, as has been said, there's nothing wrong with being a Remetj. What you'd "lose" is that if you had your heart set on becoming a priestess in KO, doing the RPD is on the path to that. And you wouldn't have a name divined for you either. If you really think there will be a problem with your RPD, you could avoid it altogether rather than leaving.

    The other question to think about- if you get someone else as a "parent", what does that really mean? From what I've heard "parent" does NOT mean most important. Honoring the parent "First" means first in the Senut rite.

    The rite starts out with libations to the Akhu, Wepwawet, your Sebau, and Ma'at. But to me, Ma'at seems the most important! Then Wepwawet. It's another example of how "first" doesn't mean "most important". So even if you were divined with someone else, Hethert could still be the one you work with most closely, and I don't think you'd be 'cheating' either!

    Failing all that, there are independent Kemetics out there, and there does seem to be some interest in getting more of a community going.

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