Wandering and Wondering

I am moving again. Taking a huge risk for love and my happiness. I'm terrified. I'm elated. My lover has given me a ticket out of here. I absolutely can't wait to use it. It feels like a pilgrimage.

 I recently felt a pull back to my roots in pagan faiths - a return to the beginning. This means Stregheria. I still have the books and love the stories. The Moon eternally holds magic for me. I was also drawn back to my Romani tarot deck (for obvious reasons, of course) and the music of Gogol Bordello. Time to ramble on! See my own continent, which I feel I have neglected to explore.

Yet, returning to La Vecchia Religione felt wrong, somehow. Like it no longer fit me and my life. Back in boarding school, both the Romani and Streghe fascinated me, and I felt very whole with these two spiritual views. The Romani feels right again, but Stregheria just doesn't seem to fit in my life anymore. It's a little sad, but kind of a relief.

I don't believe I can fully go back to being Strega, though no vow is preventing me. I simply must see that looking back is not a return. I still draw wisdom from the Gospel of Aradia, but I belong to Hethert now. I can't make the mistake I was about to and try to go backwards. I can only go forward. I was Luna Gypsy, and while this journey is realizing all that means to me, I am now, and will always be, at least in part, Qefathethert.

I am the sum of my life.
They were my landscape.

I leave this post with the part of the Gospel of Aradia I still carry with me, and will forever.

Be true to your own beliefs. Keep to your ways beyond all obstacles.

The cards say...

Divination is a lovely and tricky thing. Don't get me wrong, I love doing it, even when it turns frustrating and strange.

But there is such a thing as too much.

I collect tarot decks. I use pretty much all of them, and try to stick with one deck per reading, and that deck is whichever one calls to me.

But sometimes, I get the urge to reach for another, and ask the same questions. Bad idea.

Conflicting results, confusing answers, or just what I call "deck exasperation" sets in - where is seems like the cards themselves are saying "you asked that already, pipe down and think over the first reading!" Yes, my decks have personalities.

I have to admit, I've found myself doing this, out of self-doubt and anxiety. It never turns out well, and I leave my divination space more confused than I went in. I'm working on sticking to one deck per reading, making it a rule. Even the last reading I did for myself spoke of keeping things simple, not over-thinking situations. Apparently, it's not just a divination problem!

It's like over-editing a poem, or over-thinking a riddle, you can look past the obvious and get mired down in trivialities. All because of the urge to know.

Even with divination, you can never really know, there is no certainty. You are only shown the path, you still have to walk it, and your future is always in your hands. No amount of card readings, rune castings, pendulum work, or any other form of divination, will make that any less true, or the future any less risky. Not by itself anyway. You have to heed the message, first.

All the work is on you.